A Telephone Call...

That Forever Changed Our Lives!

Six years ago today... on February 27, 2003 at exactly 5:14 p.m. ... Bob and I received a telephone call that changed our lives forever! Our infertility specialist ~ Dr. Jane Frederick of Huntington Reproductive Center ~ called to tell us that my blood test revealed WE WERE EXPECTING! Finally... oh yes, finally... I was pregnant! I was going to be a Mommy! After years of carrying a broken heart... emptiness... at times desperate hopelessness... and several failed procedures... our first attempt with In-Vitro Fertilization was successful! Finally, I had a precious little miracle growing inside of my belly!

I remember the day as if it were yesterday. It began with an early morning appointment in Laguna Hills for my first blood draw. From Lake Elsinore... through Ortega Highway... down Crown Valley Parkway... I played the "am I?" game in my head - over and over, and over again! Do I feel pregnant? Would I know if I was? Do I feel any different? Was that little twinge... that tiny ache... was that an indication of something positive (or something negative)? Silly, I know... but, I couldn't stop! I was looking for a "sign" of any kind... begging God... pleading with Him... PLEASE LET THIS BE OUR TIME! Of course, something I know I shouldn't have been doing... but, I will be honest... I promised God the world "if only I could be a mommy"... and made just about every bargain with Him I could think of. It seemed as if the commute that morning took forever and I was already exhausted at 8:30am! Of course, we thought we would receive the results almost immediately... little did I know we would have to wait all day! We drove home in silence from Laguna Hills... our minds elsewhere... wondering how our day would end. What would it be like to hear we were going to be parents... or be told it didn't work? We arrived at home... tried to take a nap... but, I couldn't sleep. I felt almost nauseous... but, I was convinced it wasn't because I was pregnant. Later in the day we drove to Pechanga... I don't know why we chose there, but we did. Somewhere... anywhere to distract our minds... or at least try to. By 4pm, we still hadn't heard... so, we checked in with the nurse to make sure we hadn't missed the call (yeah right!). Finally, at 5;14 the phone rang... and it was Dr. Frederick. I was so scared I had Bob answer the telephone... but, I was standing practically on top of him trying to hear the tone of her voice. "Congratulations!", I heard! Really? Seriously? Are you for sure? Jumping with you... I was so excited. Crying... I called my parents! I am going to have a baby... YES!!! The Lord had answered our prayers... and my broken, empty heart was instantly mended in only a way He can do! Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how I felt on that very day... on the day our precious little girl Lorielle was born... nor does it even begin to describe my life today! Thank you God for changing my life in a way I could have never dreamed of... ever hoped for... or even known how to pray for. Of course, Eternal Life is the best gift you have given me... but, being a Mommy definitely comes second! I have definitely been BLESSED with a "lil' bit of Heaven on Earth!"

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God and only God could turn such brokenness, utter emptiness, at many times hopelessness, physical and emotional exhaustion, into something that fit together perfectly! His timing... His way... His plan! Not a day too soon... and not a day too late! Although we couldn't see it at the time... God worked EVERYTHING according to His plan for our lives! Piece by piece... day by day. Although we often felt so "weak" and "discouraged" through our infertility journey, as we look back we can definitely see where God was "growing us"... as individuals... as husband and wife... and preparing us for the day we were to be parents and a family. He has also given us a compassion and a love for all that struggle with infertility just as we did. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of all that we went through... I can't even begin to describe the heartache. But, I can honestly say it is something I don't think I could live without... because I truly believe it has made me who I am today... a better person, a better wife, and a better mother.

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Lorielle and Logan, Mommy loves you more than you will ever know! Thank you for making every single day so very special!


My Precious Lil' Miracle Today...


And... My Precious Lil' Miracle at "3 Days Old" (post conception)... the 4 embryos that continued to grow were transferred back into me... and Lorielle was one of them! I have always been curious as to which one is her... so, I can't wait to ask when I arrive in Heaven! Of course, Bob and I will always carry a special place in our hearts for the babies we lost... and we can't wait to meet all of them in Heaven, too!