72 Hours

Tick... Tick... Tick...
Second by Second...

My lil' man... his "cap"... and Mommy by his side... all day... all night. He was the bestest of best! He never once complained... never once asked if he could take it off. He played... he laughed. My lil' Logan is brave and strong... there is no doubt about that! How can it be that this very brave two year old can be stronger than his Mommy? But, he was! Mommy's heart is feeling very weak (although I didn't dare show it... not until he was asleep that it is!)... it is tired... and feeling very hurt. My entire being "aches" for answers. I so desperately want my "baby" to be okay... no, not just "okay"... but healed!

The purpose of this test was to capture a "push button event". Did we? Unfortunately, I don't think so. As time passed, I became more and more discouraged. Why God? Why must he continue to suffer? Why?

In the past, I have prayed... no... I have begged God to "make it happen" during an EEG. But this time I couldn't... Trust me, I tried. I couldn't force the words out of my mouth. I don't even think they could have been forced out of my heart either. How can I beg God to allow my son to have a seizure? I know that is what we needed... but, I have seen him suffer enough through each episode... and my heart just couldn't ask for that again. Not often can I not find the words to pray... but, this time my heart was silent. Yet in the silence of the night... I was reminded that we are to praise God in the midst of a storm. How is that possible? Am I even capable of that right at this very moment? I didn't think so. But in God's amazing way... it happened.

I thank God for the special time he has given me with my son. Life had to be "simple" this week. No distractions... no busy-ness... no housework or errands... just me and him! Because of static electricity there could be no cleaning, no vacuuming, no laundry. Cell phones were to be kept off. Really, what could be better than that? We played... we laughed... we cuddled... we read... and talked. I sat in his room and watched his lil' face light up as he played with his trains. I watched him drift off to sleep for his nap... and sat there and gazed at his handsome lil' face. His eyes twinkled as we giggled together and acted so very silly. God is good!

Of course, we now wait for the results. It is my hope that something was captured that I did not see... but, I don't know.

Day 1:




Day 2:

Day 3:

Day 4: