Needed

As a Mother... Do you ever feel as if you are being pulled into a bazillion different
directions? Well of course you do... doesn't that automatically fall under the definition of "Mommy" in the dictionary? Trying to balance life... our husband... children... the house... schedules... and the list goes on! How do we do it all? Yet... amazingly... we do! Every day! (Well... most days, right?)

But... do you ever have "one of those days"... you know... the kind of day when you can feel that if " just one more thing goes wrong"... your husband will be sweeping you up off the floor in a million different pieces?
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Well... I had one of those days!
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Lorielle woke up with an earache Sunday morning. I had just taken her to the pediatrician Friday but yet here I was... on my way to Urgent Care at 8:30 am! Isn't that always how it works? Of course, everyone else was there, too! After two hours of waiting... the doctor makes an appearance into the room... "Hello Sweety Tweety!" in a heavy accent! Seriously... are you kidding me? Do you think I am in any way, shape, or form in the mood for your humor at this very moment? Not in the least! A quick check of the ears... and sure enough... her right ear was infected! He begins writing out a prescription... and tells me we will start with Amoxicillin. "No, she can't take that" I tell him. "She has a very sensitive stomach and it comes right back up." He insists that this is where we must start and that if she can't tolerate it to give them a call. "No... you don't understand... we have been down this road before and she can't keep it down!", I argue. He ignores me... hands me the prescription with 3 other medications listed on it and says "call if it doesn't work!" ... and he disappears! We meet my parents for lunch and then I drop off the prescription at the pharmacy. I can see the writing on the wall... Lorielle's face is already flush and she is worried she is going to get sick. There was no way I was giving her 4 medications for an ear ache... so, I started with the Amoxicillin and the Flonase for her nose!
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We come home... I rush to get the house cleaned, laundry done, everything in order... Logan's digitrace starts and I knew my week couldn't be filled with anything else but this important test. After that is done, I head back to the pharmacy to pick up Lorielle's medication.

5:30 p.m. - First dose.
6:00 p.m. - Lorielle is curled up on the sofa with stomach pains.
7:30 p.m. - It all comes up.
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I was surprised she kept it down a full 2 hours... but, at least now she would feel better... and we would call her regular doctor in the morning and get something else.
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WRONG!
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She keeps getting sick... every 20 minutes turned into every 10 minutes... and then every 5 minutes.
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Her eyes started looking very "sunk in"... she seemed to be gasping for breath every few minutes... and about 9:30 p.m. I noticed blood. My baby was throwing up blood! Bob and I threw on our clothes and rushed her to the local hospital. Of course, the ER these days seems to be "home" for many... there was nowhere to sit... my daughter was still throwing up... and they tell us to have a seat - we need to wait our turn. Really? This truly can't be happening! We live in the United States... we pay our taxes... pay our insurance... and I have no idea what is wrong with my daughter... and I have to wait? Can't you see how sick she is? Of course, the drunks and drug addicts are looking at me like how dare I stand there and let my daughter vomit in a bowl right in front of them. Sorry! They call her back to the triage room... she can't stand by herself... can't hold up her little head... they take her vitals... and the expressionless nurse tells me to head back to the waiting room. When I asked if I could have a chair to sit in, I was told they didn't have anymore. So, I told her I would wait in the car with her and my husband would wait in the waiting room. She didn't like the idea, but I wasn't giving her a choice. I asked how long it would be... "well, you have 5 people in front of you... and ambulances are priority... so, it is going to be awhile!" ... I bundled Lorielle up... took her to the car and held her. It started getting so cold, I had to start the car every bit to keep us warm. We waited for hours... She finally fell asleep and she stopped throwing up. When she woke up, she said she felt better... they hadn't called a single person... and Bob had to leave for work at 4am (new shift - new Sgt.... and no chance of calling in!)... so, we headed home. I knew they weren't going to see her anytime soon... and she seemed to be doing better. Thank God!
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Her and I sat in the loft for the remainder of the night. I didn't dare close even one eye as I needed to know she was okay. I prayed the entire time. I Prayed my little girl was okay... and I begged God for strength... because I had no idea how I was going to take Logan to San Diego and be alert and awake for his test this week. Lord, please help me!
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I called the pediatrician in the morning and of course, she wanted to see Lorielle. How could I be there for both of my "babies"? They both needed me... but, there was no way I could be in two places at the same time. Do I cancel Logan's appointment and wait several more months for this test? Do I wait and take Lorielle the next day? I literally just sat on the bathroom floor and cried. Why God? Why now? Why today? What do you expect from me? What do I do? How can I choose between my children? But, I had to make a choice. It isn't at all that I love one more than the other... but, I knew I had to take Logan to San Diego... and I knew I could be back for Lorielle should she need any further testing. So... Grandma and Grandpa took Lorielle. My heart broke as they left... but, I needed to know she was okay... and that couldn't wait! Logan and I headed to San Diego. Of course, what else could go wrong... but, an accident. We were now running late. What timing! TIMING? Certainly not mine... but, God's... as He made it possible to meet Lorielle and my parents and we drove to San Diego together. Thank you God!
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Lorielle is okay... a definite reaction to the Amoxicillin which she can't have ever again!
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Logan's digitrace was put on... even though we were a few minutes late... the nurse was very understanding.
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...And Mommy... well, I am in one piece! Amazing, huh? God's glue is keeping me held together in one piece... because I can't fall apart today! No, I am needed!