Independence... and, Letting Go!
My lil' girl will be 5 in October! I cannot believe it! Time passes so quickly... and each day I try to etch memories in my heart... as I fear I won't remember it all.
Lorielle's all time favorite holiday movie is "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer". A scene comes to mind as I watch my little girl "grow up". Rudolph and Hermey (Misfit Elf) are talking... and they decide they want to be... "Independent... I want to be independent." My lil' girl is also yearning to gain a bit of independence... and although, I am so very proud to watch my precious daughter grow... and spread her wings... it is also very bitter-sweet for me. Although, Webster might not agree... there are two parts in my definition of "Independence" and the second part is "letting go". That is something Mommy is and will always struggle with. I know with each step of independence my little girl takes in her lifetime, I will also have to "let go" just a bit more... and boy... that is something I just cannot imagine doing. Lord please grant me the serenity to know when to hold on tight... and when it is okay to "let go".
Lorielle is registered to begin Kindergarten August 20th... and as you can guess... I cannot imagine letting her go. I know this is a "struggle"... a "hurdle"... that all mother's are confronted with... and amazingly enough... have all conquered this day and survived. But, as for me... uhhhmmm... what if I don't? I might just be the one mother that can't let go. Can you imagine that? That would definitely make the newspaper headlines and I am sure, appear on the evening news, right? So, with each sleepless night... I pray... and pray... and pray some more. The days seem to be passing at lightening speed as we are in the "count down" ... only 57 days left! I beg God to please sloooow down these last care-free days with my little girl. Of course, I am truly blessed to have always been able to stay home with her... and I thank God for that each and every day.
Of course, in my cRaZy thoughts... I think... "well, I can always keep her home for one more year"... and I definitely could because she will be a younger kindergartner... but, then I snap back into reality and must remember we must make the decision that is best for her... regardless of how much Mommy is struggling.
And Bob and I have gone back and forth on whether we should home school her... or place her in public school... and we continue to pray for God's leading on this decision.
But, as of right now... she is registered and I think (well, I know) she is ready to take the next step and become an official "kindergartner"... and so now... Mommy has to "let go" and watch her little girl become a BIG GIRL as she heads to school.
OH, I NEED PRAYER!!!
So... in the "spirit" of learning to "let go"... Lorielle is on her first official get away with Grandma and Grandpa WITHOUT Mommy and/or Daddy! She is headed to Laughlin for a few days of sun, fun, water, and wave-runners with my parents. She was soooo excited to go... and although, she was a bit nervous about being homesick... I know she will have SO MUCH FUN! And, that makes me SO HAPPY!
All packed and ready to go... baby doll and her all time favorite "kitty" in her backpack.
It looks like Mommy won't be the only one missing her!
1 comments:
She is going to love her little trip with grandma and Grandpa! What fun! Don't worry, God will grant you this peace on her first day of school. It's amazing! I felt the same way, but I had an overwhelming feeling of peace on Joey's first day of preschool and we both survived. Of course, I still cried, but I waited till I was in my car! :)
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